If only just from today.

Today was kind of dumpy.
Rained in the morning.
Grey the whole day.
Pumped on caffeine.
Ate the wrong lunch.
Couldn’t get inspired.
Wanted to leave work.
Then the fire alarm went off, which I took as God’s sign to find alcohol.
OK, it wasn’t him. But I went anyway.
Had some beers.
Sat alone.
Texted friends on my phone.

Generally feeling bad about myself.

Took BART back home and fell on my bed.
Undressed, hopped in the shower and started singing.
All of the sudden I had a moment of clarity,
and realized what question I’d failed to ask.
What is missing from my life?
I realized the answer.
If only just from today.


bedtime lullaby

it’s late
and the muses whisper
light melodies to my ear
words mix in my mind as
crickets dance in the cold night air.
i flick a match
and an orange glow floods the dark
as i light my last cigarette
breathing slowly as the first puff
mixes with my blood.
all alone
isnt what we’re meant to be
but thats just the way it is
when youre old enough
no one can care.
its my show.
pool hall buddies
hot dinner dates
shooting shit at work
late night AIM
with old college roomates
all equally sick
of real life.
before i sleep
in an empty house
i burp softly
what was in a bottle
before my mind’s vapors